Monday, February 27, 2012

"From Caring comes Courage"

Yes, I get angry. Rarely at other people. Just mostly at myself. People think because I'm so sweet and a push over that I never get angry. I do though. If you were to make fun of my family, I can get pretty mean. Honestly though, I get unbelievably mad at myself. I get mad because I care too much. I get mad from the feelings of jealousy I get. And I get angry for being mad at myself. I have false dreams that I get consumed with, only to be trampled down. But I never give up hope. Cause there's always tomorrow. But now my shell is harder than before. I'm becoming calloused. I try to stay as loving and compassionate as before. but it's hard. knowing your heart can be broken once more. Thank goodness I'm a tough one. and that I can forgive easily. Otherwise I'd be stuck in a rut. I can only act like I'm okay for a short while. Until things back up, and I explode. I think it's rather stupid for me to get mad at things I can't help to feel. But I'd rather have these emotions be elsewhere... I'm not quite sure. Everybody handles them differently. I wish I wouldn't get mad at myself. Its not healthy. But I'd rather blame me, than anyone else. Because you know what? I'm the one who decides whether I am happy or not. And I realize life would be pretty miserable if I didn't take the time to see the good parts of life. I just keep pushing on and remind myself that everything happens for a reason...


No comments:

Post a Comment