Emotions

I think about this often. "why do we have all these different feelings and perceptions?" I'm not one to be sympathetic to anyone's sadness or loneliness, even my own. Although, I do hate when I am sad and have negative feelings. I get very mad and frustrated at myself when I cry or get sick from being upset. I'm not quite sure what it is that makes me feel that way. It could be from my upbringing, or just the way I take things, the way I view life. Who knows. Maybe circumstantial issues. All I know is that, tonight I was crying. Why? Well apparently because I miss someone a whole heck of a lot. This is a shock to me. 1. because I only once actually missed a person and 2. I cried... My brother was hit by a car, as some may know, and he was in the hospital under critical condition. Then I cried, and I certainly cried a lot. But that was reasonable. Now I'm crying because someone is far away from me, for some reason that seems silly. I know there's a lot more to it than that he's just far away. but I don't feel any pity on me, and I don't want anyone else to. I often think emotions are useless. But then again. what would life be then. I guess with the hurt and the pain, comes the laughs and smiles. I am almost always optimistic. I try to at least, I believe its a lot more healthier. But to some point, being happy and optimistic does have its downfalls. Like now. I don't know how to deal with these kinds of motions. I said to my friend earlier, "I wish I knew how to deal with negative emotions like normal people." Honestly though, not many people actually do know how to handle their emotions. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you take what you get, and you either use it or you don't. You can cry and sob. Have a pity party for yourself. Or get over it and realize it could be worse. That's always my vice. "It could be worse." It most certainly could. 


“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” 
― Robert Frost